In the month of February, I received two pieces back from two different editors. Looking at them side by side, I see the juxtaposition that I am. The first piece is the fourth and final book in the Blood Bound Series, Blood Queen. Vampires, werewolves, witches, all sorts of fictional creatures doing all sorts of wicked and vile things. The other piece is a RomCom I wrote a few years back and finally took the leap on - it’s a contemporary non-traditional romance novel with a focus on sexual health.
Two very different pieces, both I can stand behind and say I poured my heart and soul into. Often times I’ve described myself as a “Genre-Slut”, meaning I read and write any genre. And for the first time, I’m truly seeing them run parallel. Though there are many similar themes between these two pieces, such as consent, figuring out who you are, there are some obvious differences, as well. What I worry about with this transcendence of my authorship, is how I’ve curated followers, and established a social media presence. Dark fantasy with a touch of horror has been, until now, my main focus. How does one then shift their entire persona into something completely different? It’s not as though I’m suddenly writing dark romance, which often goes hand-in-hand with dark fantasy. No, I’ve written something wildly out of scope. Though, those of you who have witnessed my entire writing journey, you’ve seen some other projects that go hand-in-hand with this shift (PDL, IYKYK). I’ve considered a pen name, however, I’m prideful and I want my real name on all my writing. The thought of making a whole new social media profile just for a pen name while I can barely keep up with the minimal socials I have, it’s never going to happen. This upcoming piece, the RomCom which I won’t reveal the name of just yet, has been on the roster for a few years. I wrote it years ago when I was in a relationship that was coming apart at the seams. I didn’t know it then, not really, but whenever I reread the journey my main character goes through, I feel so deeply my own metamorphosis. Who I was then versus who I am now are two very different Sabrina’s. I’m able to look back at that Sabrina and cherish who she was, and I’m able to look at the Sabrina I am today and be thankful for all the hardship I went through to get here. When I heard about a convention a city nearby, The West Coast Reader’s Convention, I jumped on board with it. However, I didn’t really read much of the fine print. It’s a romance convention. I don’t have any traditional romance novels out. Sure, Blood Coven, Ashen Heart, and Song of the Sea have elements of romance in them, but none of them fit the romance-genre bill. That kicked me in gear, knowing I had to get something out by October of 2025. With a couple of connections, a few Facebook pages, I met a Canadian editor, Nicole Simpson (link to her website here). I trusted her with my manuscript and I couldn’t be happier with the care and consideration she has put into it. I can speak only high praise of Nicole, and if you’re looking for an editor, look no further. Now I have two manuscripts to work on - both edits have been sent to me. Blood Queen takes priority, because the deadline is much sooner than this new novel. I’ll be self-publishing this new novel, moving away from trad/small press publishing, which is a scary endeavour, but I believe I have the right tools and people to help me through that journey. I look at these two novels and see two Sabrina’s. Not past and present, more like a balance (I am a Libra, after all). The side of me that loves gore and bloodshed and tearing my characters apart (literally and figuratively), and the side of me that is softer and is open to growing alongside my characters. Both books show hardship and enduring loss and love and the messiness that is life. One is supernatural/paranormal/fantasy, and the other is a bit more raw and real. When this RomCom comes out, I hope people find parts of themselves in the characters the same way that I have.
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I was fourteen in 2010, full of angst and desperation to understand the world, or to have the world understand me. In order to do that, I began to channel the emotions and hormonal overdrive into writing. I’d dabbled in fanfiction and those cheesy “girl in a home where four ridiculous hot men who are also vampires/werewolves live and are all in love with her”. It’s embarrassing to think back on those pieces, and yet, you have to start somewhere. And honestly, a woman in a home with four hot paranormal men are in love with her sounds like my kind of book now. Maybe I ought to revisit that…
But I digress… The point behind this entry is getting lost already. The point is, I started writing what would become Blood Coven during this period of my life. Originally titled “The Truth Behind Little Red Riding Hood”, the entire story was fueled by an image I saw online. It was a drawing, and I wish I could find it again and locate the artist who did it. Red Riding Hood was holding a gun to a man’s belly, he was wearing wolf’s clothing, and had his hand on her breast. It sparked a lot within me, and while the original version of Blood Coven was wildly problematic with large age gaps and questionable consent, I look back at this and understand why I channeled this into that version; it was all I knew. I won’t get too into depth of my problematic start in relationships, though. The crux of it is that the original version of Blood Coven was a deeply emotional outpour that started my journey of writing. Doesn’t most writing come from some form of trauma? But I won’t give that to my abuser, I refuse to credit them for this. Over the next ten years, I added to this tale, put it away, locked it in drawers, forgot about it. But it never left me -- some stories never do. If you’re an author, you likely know what it means to be perpetually haunted by a concept, a character, a line. When I started writing what would become Song of the Sea, it was so easy to loosely connect to this concept I had locked away. Subtle, mostly just done for me, but it sparked something inside of me. Song of the Sea is my golden child; the story wrote itself and remains one of my strongest tales to date. I didn’t struggle once with its inception, the characters spoke to me during car rides and hot showers. I was late for work countless times because I just needed to finish the next scene or chapter. From the creation of Song of the Sea came two characters I simply could not relinquish: Roman and Ivan Sokolov. Natural born killers, in a sense, these two characters grabbed hold of my throat and refused to let me breathe unless I wrote more about them (children are ever so greedy). And from this came Ashen Heart. My decision to write Ashen Heart was where everything changed. It was not an easy story to write, I’ll be the first to admit that this one stumped me a few times. But I persevered and out came a story that I resonated with on a variety of levels. By this time I was in my early 20’s, learning who I was while not being able to grow. So I grew through my writing, channeling versions of myself into characters who would remain on paper, minds, and hearts. With these three books written, I was at an impasse. What to do with these three tales… Leave them? Weave them together? Write a finale? At this point, it was a struggle to figure out how to wrap them up. They were all so individual. Sure, characters crossed over, long lineages of Luca’s and Sokolov’s had their stories penned. But it wasn’t enough. So I rewrote Blood Coven entirely. My problem child, Blood Coven, but still my first born. The story that you read is nothing like the original version. I had to give it a complete makeover. And so it was always a difficult relationship that I had with Blood Coven, and still do to this day. It’s not my strongest piece of writing, but it was the first thing I wrote that I thought “I could publish this…”. And that means something. Once all four books were written, COVID hit. I came into a lot of money and decided “Fuck it, I’ll publish”. So I went with a vanity press, didn’t know much about anything to do with publishing. I put a lot of money into the first two published books: Red & Æsa (Blood Coven and Song of the Sea). They were well received, but I couldn’t possibly go on publishing via a vanity press. But I wanted my books out there, The Blood Bound Series deserved to be published. That’s when I got into indie-press publishing with Quill & Crow Publishing. Republishing an entire series with new titles and covers was more difficult than I expected. People don’t want to repurchase, reread, or give much time to something they’ve already committed to. Time is money, after all. I have a complicated relationship with The Blood Bound Series. I love it to pieces, it shaped much of who I am as an author. To put it lightly, it has been a fucking journey getting from a short 10K Wattpad story about a seventeen year-old girl and a four-hundred year old wolf, to a four book series spanning hundreds of years with a plethora of characters who are versions of me. The cover reveal for the fourth book, Blood Queen, came out today via my Instagram. It’s bittersweet knowing that the series is going to wrap up in 2025, but after over fifteen years of working on it, it’s time. Every single time I decide I want to have a blog, I let it slip under the radar. Now, I'm not going to try and imply some "new year, new me" nonsense, because I'm nearly thirty and am fully aware of who I am as a person. However, there are a lot of things in 2025 that I think need to be categorized, addressed, dealt with, etc...
Let's start with the first one: the Blood Bound Series will be coming to an end. I'll do a separate post about that, and the catharsis of such a long journey. It's bittersweet, in a way, but again, this isn't the post for that. Instead, I'm elated to finally have the whole series out in the world. Blood Queen will be out in 2025, wrapping up the stories I've spent over a decade working on. Second up: short stories! Recently there was a call for "feminine rage" stories, which is my wheelhouse. During a time of emotional turmoil, I was able to channel a lot of pain and struggle into a short story titled "This Foul Heart", which was then published in "The Tongue is Sharp". It's an anthology of feminine rage, and all the proceeds of this book go to the ACLU. It's a good cause, and the collection is excellent. Third on the 2025 house keeping list: a change is coming. Again, there will be another blog post about this to get into it in more depth. But to summarize, I'm changing gears with my writing. In 2025 I will be publishing a romcom, which is currently with my editor. It's totally left-field for me, I know. But I hope that those of you who know me for my dark fantasy and horror writing will accept this change and still give me the time of day. I will also have some author events; signings, West Coast Readers Convention, and hopefully more! That's all for today - much love xx |
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